Auditory Outhouse #27

This new award will be...awarded (note to self: need more redundancy on site) every month to a member of the global community that is making an impact on the lives of those around them. The impact need not be positive.

This month, it gives me great joy to present Sifu Kelvin Berrman Harrison with this prestigious made-up award for his excellent work in excellence.

Let's take a look at some of the changes he has made in his hometown of San Luis Obispo, CA, USA:

What ever happened to pie comedy?

Pie Face: The last comedic great to use pie in his routine.

Pie = Delicious. Comedic. Genius.

-JS

Tonight's game is being broadcast from the Ice Dome (doodled below).

The Broad Street Boulevard Baboons Vs. The Broad Street Avenue Apes

The puck is dropped, and the Broad Street Boulevard Baboons immediately enter the offensive zone:

It's sent back to the point with a tape-to-tape pass:

Tape to tape pass.

Benoit the Baboon winds up a shot and pounds it towards Grape Ape (playing goal for the Broad Street Avenue Apes).

Fast forward.

Final Score: 7-3 victory for the Avenue Apes.

Game Recap + Highlights:

Another great game in the books.

-JS

I've been living here in Ottawa for about a year and half, and I finally got around to checking out Tom Green's infamous plaid house (everyone should start spelling it 'plad' to avoid mispronunciation...all words should be written phonetically):

What would happen if...

Your best friend was a mutant?

A radish went rabid?

You were part hippo, part superhero?

The answer to all these questions is:

Yes.

-JS

Stream: The Dopest Mother Udder Podcast

Direct link mp3: 14 min, 19 mb (right-click save as)
______

I will be hitting the canal this weekend and interviewing people as they skate through sub-sub-subzero temperature.
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Next hockey broadcast will be Friday January 23rd, 2008 @ approx 7PM. More info to come.

-JS

I finally got around to uploading the interview recorded 3 weeks ago with JP from Pleaseeasaur.


Part 1:

Part 2:

Check out Pleaseeasaur's:

Website
Myspace
Youtube
Baby Pictures

And then buy Pleaseeasaur's latest album:

The Amazing Adventures of Pleaseeasaur (w/ DVD)
_________

This was the first interview I've ever done using Skype. I'm totally sold on using Skype, the audio quality is amazing compared to crappy copper phone lines. The only downside is the delay, especially when calling from Ottawa to Los Angeles, which means the call becomes a little more robotic, and less like a conversation. On the plus side, I was able to do it from home. It is indeed the wave of the future.

In order to record the call, I used this great, free program by the name of Call Graph. If you are ever in need of recording a skype call for audio purpose, this is the program. I tried 4-5 other programs, and this one is the best. It's simple, records in stereo, separate channels, all in all, a true internet gem.

Big thanks goes out to JP for doing the interview. Everyone should go out and make sure they see him perform live, it's a sight to be seen.

-JS

Edit: I will make the interview available to download on Podomatic once I get a bit more spare time.

Here's a list of Professor Pubestache's Top 5 Must-Have Gadgets of 2009:

#1: Barngun

+ Shoots cows or tractors or some shit.

- Need farming license to operate.

Price: $250

#2: Microdyalisis Tank

+ Can determine chemical components of fluid in the extracellular spaces of tissues.

+ Primary armament: 1 x 8.8 KwK 36L/56 92 rounds.

+ Can help patients.

- Can blow patients to bits.

Price: $3.2 million

#3: Poker Table w/ Police Riot Gear

+ Royal Oak finish with 1000-thread-count regal felt.

+ Helmet comes with shatterproof visor.

- Taser not included.

Price: $99

#4: No-No Washing Machine

+ Looks pretty cool.

- Does it wash colours? No.

- Does it wash whites? No.

+ Probably not a racist washing machine. Treats everyone equally to no treatment at all.

Price: $1.49 O.B.O.

#5: Poopoo Butter *Editor's Choice*

+ Great taste that melts in your mouth.

+ Bonus Prizes: Corn, salad bits, etc.

+ Tofu alternative for vegetarians.

Price: Free wherever anuses are found.

-JS

On Dec. 25, I was innocently minding my own business on YouTube, looking for some holiday cheer, and stumbled upon this:

This is a doodle of a furry. If you find this attractive, go ahead and slam your nuts into a door jamb.
Now! Before a chubby forms!

I'm sure there will be a surgical procedure in 2009 that will help animals, who are trapped in human bodies, become animals again. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

What else will happen in '09?

I'm excited to report that dinosaurs will be discovered.

However, these dinosaurs will have a maximum length of 40cm. We will call them lizards. No one will care, because Jurassic Park can't be filled with tiny dinosaurs.

Also, in 2009, scientists will find that aliens and UFOs are the exact same thing, ending years of confusing dialogue.

Think of all the time you'll save now that you don't have to explain that UFOs are Unidentified Flying Objects and aliens are extra terrestrials. That's time you can spend talking about boobs...space boobs:

Ex. Ted says: Hey Jim, I saw a UFO today.

Jim says: You saw an alien!

Ted says: Actually, they're both the same thing now, so yes, I did.

Jim says: Wow...so Ted...was it a chick alien? Did it have 3 nipples?

Ted says: Probably.

Those are the headlines for 2009, but I'm sure there will be plenty of surprises along the way...have a decent new year!

-JS