Monday, June 29, 2009

Moonrappin' Tonight 1-3 AM

Hey, I'm gonna be guest-hosting on Moonrappin' from 1-3AM tonight with Sean Cooley.

The topic is superheroes, so if you have anything at all to say, please don't hesitate to call us at 613-562-5967

Listen to the stream here in real and mp3 format: www.chuo.fm

-JS

Friday, June 26, 2009

Furious George: Facebook Predator Pt. 4

Furious George: Facebook Predator Pt. 4 - Inbox Intimacy

If you're having a tough time grabbing the attention of ladies, George suggests taking a stab in the dark.

Why not randomly PM complete strangers until you get one hooked, lined and sinkered?

Attaboy George!

George was able to add Charlene as a friend, and now the real seducing begins:


George learned from the master:



Next time we'll take a look at how George turns those annoying people who send app-invites into his own personal sex slaves.

-JS

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Furious George: Facebook Predator Pt. 3

Furious George: Facebook Predator Pt. 3 - Messageboard Mania

George will be the first one to tell you that message boards are a great place to cruise for hot delectable women.

Feel free to start up your own thread:

FIRST!

Or join in on someone else's discussion. Here we find George in a thread titled "Facebook chatters I miss that haven't posted in a long time":

Having a catchphrase, much like a superhero, is a surefire way to get chicks.
As noted above, George's calling card is:

George Hagel: Master of the Female Species
Because I Smear them with Feces

Ladies can hardly resist.

And finally...always, ALWAYS mark your territory:

Join us again for Part 4 as George swoops in for the kill through lyrical prose, as he seduces Charlene via Facebook.

-JS

Monday, June 22, 2009

Furious George: Facebook Predator Pt. 2

Furious George: Facebook Predator Pt. 2 - Groups 4 Groupies

George, you handsome old dog. How the hell are ya?
Single? We'll be sure to change that in no time.
  • Every internet predator should update their facebook status to show off their emotional side:
Profile Editor: Remember to stay hip by using the latest catchphrases:
  • Wazzup?
  • Cowabunga!
  • Where's the beef?
  • I have a small penis.
The next thing any internet predator will want to do is join a facebook group.

George has found just the place that's geared towards old-timers like himself:
"No way!You're not in your 30's/40's or 50's" Club for Sharing Information."

A quick glance at the Wall shows oldies are desperate for any action they can get:

Funkytown? More like fun-kytown. Knowwhaimsayin?

The group was looking for an admin, so George jumped at the opportunity. Other groups currently looking for admins are:
  • The Crotch Fungus Association of America (CFAA)
  • "My fingers are too fat to type legiblakjlref an ksdasdn nasdj"
  • Webbed Toes on Nasty Hoes
  • "I created this group based on a lame premise."
Being an admin allows you to gain unprecedented power to lure lovely luscious ladies. George realizes the best way to get some action is by hosting a bitchin' ass party:

AWWwwwWWW YEA

We about to get this shit started:

Although I personally was never able to make it out to the party, I did hear through the grapevine a kind of rustling noise but then I realized it was probably the wind or something.

Check back with us again for Part 3 as we continue to follow George's adventures through Facebook...up next...the All-Too-Forgettable Facebook Message Boards.

-JS

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Furious George: Facebook Predator Pt. 1

This is my friend George.

He's new to the internet. He's decided to sign up for Facebook, because all his friends are either dead or in jail.

It is always customary for a new user such as George to state his or her intent or goals.

George decides the best place for this is the "Looking For Missing Persons" group:

Now that George has laid out the proverbial bait, he must sit back and wait for a woman to initiate a courtship:

A starving cougar has come out of the thick jungle we call the web. Obviously she was unable to resist George's hot catcher's mitt-type face and blatent honesty.

Now George must make his move in order to impress the femaloid:

This time, George has gone too far, and the woman has picked up the stench of desperation coming off his post.

Fortunately, another female has introduced herself:

Although Michelle had shown an original interest in George, she quickly proved to only be a huge flirt that wasted all of my goddam time and money you fucking bitch whore Michelle I'll hunt you down and rip off your ears and fuck you in that bloody mess with my two inch cock until semen oozes from your eyesockets. Slut.

I, of course, am only imagining this is what George thinks. No angry emails.

For tonight, George will go back to his minimum wage job stocking shelves at Pete's Farmacy ("We fill out your prescription, you fill up your shopping cart!").

George will retreat behind his anonymous IP proxy, recharge his batteries, and come out with a new game plan in the morning. Check back for Part 2, as George delves into the art of running a badass facebook group.

-JS